Ah, the good old days. When avocado-green kitchens were chic, phone cords stretched across rooms like decorative vines, and intercoms meant you really made it in life. The homes of the past weren’t just structures—they were technological masterpieces decked out with the best innovations money could buy.
But fast forward a few decades, and those same “state-of-the-art” features have become the embarrassing mullets of the home design world. From cutting edge to cringe, let’s take a trip down memory lane and laugh (or cry) about the once iconic retro home features that now scream, “How did anyone think this was a good idea?!”
1. Wired Phone Jacks: When Landlines Ruled the World
The Glory Days: From the 1970s through the early 2000s, every home worth its shag carpeting had a trusty landline and a phone jack in every room. Nothing said, “I’m connected,” quite like a tangled phone cord snaking through the kitchen while you tried to stir spaghetti.
The Fall: By the 2010s, mobile phones swept in, and wired phone jacks became as useful as a pager in a Wi-Fi zone. These days, you’re more likely to find that old phone jack covered by a forgotten piece of furniture than actually in use.
Why It’s Gone: Because we’ve got the world in our pockets now. And no one misses getting stuck in a phone cord’s death grip.
2. Built-In Intercom Systems: “Hello? Can Anyone Hear Me?”
The Glory Days: Back in the 1960s to the late 1990s, the intercom system was the cool way to talk to your kids without leaving the couch. With just a click of a button, you could buzz your husband in the garage, yell at your kids upstairs, or pretend to be a ship captain paging his crew.
The Fall: Smartphones and wireless communication made these things as irrelevant as a beeper. Somewhere in the early 2000s, they stopped installing them in new homes. No one wanted to buzz the kitchen when a group chat could suffice.
Why It’s Gone: Siri. Alexa. Google Assistant. We’ve gone full sci-fi, and house intercoms are now about as futuristic as smoke signals.
3. Popcorn Ceilings: The Ultimate “Look Up” Moment
The Glory Days: In the 1960s through the early ‘80s, the popcorn ceiling was the architectural feature. Every home had that rough, bumpy texture, and if you didn’t, well, were you even living?
The Fall: By the ‘90s, people realized they were living under ceilings that looked suspiciously like asbestos (and sometimes were). The trend finally died as smooth, flat surfaces became the norm.
Why It’s Gone: Because no one enjoys living in a home where it feels like your ceiling is a permanent rash.
4. Wall-Mounted Radios: Cutting-Edge Audio or Sonic Relic?
The Glory Days: Before Spotify and Apple Music, there was the wall-mounted radio and, if you were extra fancy, an 8-track player. From the 1970s through the ‘80s, this was how you filled your home with tunes. It was like having a jukebox embedded in your walls!
The Fall: Cassettes, CDs, MP3s, and streaming services crushed these relics. By the late ‘80s, these systems started gathering dust (and soon enough, they became conversation pieces more than actual players).
Why It’s Gone: Because now you can carry 100,000 songs in your pocket, not 10 bulky 8-tracks. Also, who needs 8-tracks when your smart speaker will play everything from Beethoven to Beyoncé at your command?
5. Carpeted Bathrooms: The Hygienic Nightmare
The Glory Days: The 1970s and ‘80s loved a plush feel everywhere, and that included the bathroom. If you didn’t have carpet underfoot while you brushed your teeth, were you even living in the lap of luxury? The Brady Bunch was doing so why wouldn’t you?
The Fall: By the early 2000s, someone finally said, “Wait, is putting a sponge-like material in a damp room full of water, humidity, and… other things a good idea?” Spoiler: It wasn’t.
Why It’s Gone: Because mildew and mold are not your friends, and no one enjoys cleaning a toilet while standing on something that can soak up liquid.
6. Central Vacuum Systems: The Suckiest Feature of All Time
The Glory Days: Starting in the 1980s, central vacuum systems were the feature for the clean-obsessed. No lugging around a heavy vacuum—just plug your hose into the wall and let the system do the rest!
The Fall: By the 2000s, central vacuums were clunky, outdated, and honestly, not even that efficient. Portable vacuums became lighter, more powerful, and more convenient, rendering central vac systems about as necessary as a rotary phone.
Why It’s Gone: We have Roombas and Dysons now. Technology moved on and so did we.
7. The Cable Jack: Cutting the Cord Before Cutting the Cord Was Cool
The Glory Days: From the 1980s to the 2000s, a coaxial cable jack in every room was essential to getting your fix of sitcoms and Saturday morning cartoons. Homes came pre-wired with jacks ready to connect you to those rooftop rabbit ears or the local cable provider.
The Fall: By the 2010s, streaming services and now we just need one cable jack in one room to hook up the high speed modem. The cable jacks in every bedroom are likely just there to remind you of a simpler time and make painting the walls more challenging.
Why It’s Gone: Because “binge-watching” your favorite show now requires a Wi-Fi connection, not antenna positioning wizardry.
8. Built-In Entertainment Centers: Making Room for the Box
The Glory Days: In the 1980s and ‘90s, everyone had a TV the size of a small elephant. Homebuilders, in their infinite wisdom, started adding built-in TV nooks to living rooms. These were designed to accommodate your massive CRT (cathode ray tube) television, complete with space for a VHS player or maybe two.
The Fall: Flat-screen TVs came in and laughed in the face of those giant nooks. By the late 2000s, these awkward cut-outs became nothing more than black holes of wasted space.
Why It’s Gone: Because we wall-mount our sleek flat screens now. Those old nooks are now awkward spaces perfect for dust and nothing else.
9. Compartmentalized Kitchens: A Chef’s Nightmare
The Glory Days: From the beginning of time until the 1990s homes had a love affair with isolated kitchens. The cook was cut off from the rest of the house, probably so guests wouldn’t see the chaos happening just beyond the kitchen room doors.
The Fall: Open floor plans took over by the early 2000s, and suddenly everyone wanted to be part of the action—even while preparing dinner. Now, boxed-in kitchens are as obsolete as boxed wine at a fancy dinner.
Why It’s Gone: Because people realized they don’t want to feel like they’re stuck in a culinary dungeon. Historic homes keep this charm except when flippers gut them and try to turn them into new homes. That’s a no-no.
10. Built-In Computer Nooks: When the Desktop Was King
The Glory Days: The 1990s to early 2000s were the golden era of the desktop computer, and homebuilders knew it. Many houses came with a designated nook or workstation designed just for your bulky monitor, tower, and DOT matrix printer.
The Fall: Laptops, tablets, and smartphones changed the game. By the 2010s, people could work from their couch, kitchen table, or even bed, making those custom computer nooks a thing of the past.
Why It’s Gone: Because our gadgets got smaller and our need for dedicated workspaces shrank with them.
11. Built-In Speaker Systems: Music to Nobody’s Ears
The Glory Days: In the ‘80s through early 2000s, built-in speaker systems were the hallmark of an upgraded home. Who wouldn’t want music pumped into every room? Surround was king and it was a party at your place!
The Fall: Wireless speakers, soundbars, and smart home audio systems made built-in setups look like ancient tech. By the 2010s, hardwired systems were ripped out or forgotten.
Why It’s Gone: Because now your whole-home sound system fits in the palm of your hand. Bluetooth, baby!
Time Marches On, and So Do We
There you have it. A long list of once-coveted retro home features that now have all the relevance of a Blockbuster rental card. Trends may come and go, but one thing’s for sure: We’ll probably be laughing at today’s latest home innovations in another 20 years.
For us at The Craftsman Blog that’s why we love so many of the times materials and styles of historic homes. They were timeless. And timeless and trendy are too completely different things.
Founder & Editor-in-Chief
I love old houses, working with my hands, and teaching others the excitment of doing it yourself! Everything is teachable if you only give it the chance.